51 Ways to annoy Shinon!
by FE Frog
Summary: Mia is bored, which creates a really bad scenario for Shinon... Rated to be safe. No pairings, just a lot of laughs.
1. Mia is bored

FE Frog: I knew you would click on this... Me, being in love with Murtagh from Eragon, decided to take the '51 Ways to Annoy Murtagh' list, and use my very favorite characters instead. Shinon, as our target, and the ever so awesome Mia, as the annoying brat who won't leave the target alone!

Disclaimer: I do not own FE, i'sa characters or anything, neither do i own 51 ways to annoy Murtagh. Someone was just weird enough to make it for me! YAAAAY!

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Mia, being the overly hyperactive girl she was, came up with an awesome idea. She thought about who would be the perfect target first, then smiled evilly as she came up with the absolute perfect guy…

1. **Follow him around and keep asking the same stupid question no matter what answer he gives.**

"Hey, Shinon?" Mia asked in a whiny voice as she followed him around camp.

The sniper looked over his shoulder to see the innocent looking girl behind him, "How long have you been there?"

"Why is the sky blue?" she asked, in her innocent tone.

"How should I know?"

"Why is the sky blue?" she asked once more.

"Because the water reflects in it!"

"Why is the sky blue?"

"Uuuuugggghhhhh!"

2. **Follow him around chanting "Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Shinon stole the cookie from the cookie jar! Who? Shinon stole a cookie from the cookie jar!"**

"Hey, Shinon!" Mia screeched as she bounced up to the table he was eating at.

"I don't know why the sky is blue!" he hissed, the spooning another mouthful of Mist's awful soup into his mouth. Gatrie, who was sitting across the table from him, gave him a confused look.

"Who stole a cookie from the cookie jar? Shinon stole a cookie from the cookie jar! Who? Sh…"

"Shut up!" Shinon yelled. The room was eerily silent for several moments.

"Well…" Mia snorted and stomped off.

Shinon looked around at everyone, whose eyes were clearly set on him. He got up and left, and not to apologize.

3. **Give him nicknames that are unrelated to his real name. Ex: Paul. Joe. Han Solo. Teddy Bear. Freddie.**

"Hey Kyle!"

Shinon frowned, partially because 'It' was following him, and also because of the random name she used.

"How was the battled today, Larry?" she asked, elbowing him in the arm.

"My name is…"

"I know what you name is, Henry!" she interrupted.

"Excuse me?"

"I asked you a question, Unicorn Face!"

Shinon just rolled his eyes and left. This was starting to get pathetic…

4. **Ask loudly where babies come from. Keep asking him even if he claims he won't tell you. **

"Hey, Kenny?"

Shinon let out a heaving sigh. All he was doing was talking with Gatrie! What was wrong with that?

Mia tugged on his sleeve, pretending he didn't hear her, and then asked loudly, "Where do babies come from?"

Gatrie burst out laughing as his friend turned a radish-like shade of red. The camp was, yet again, eerily silent for several moments. Shinon stormed off.

5. **On the off chance he gets frustrated enough to tell you where babies come from (previously mentioned on number 4), look offended and claim he's not taking you seriously.**

"Shinon? Where do…"

"Leave me alone!" he yelled. What did he ever do to her?

"Where do babies come from?" she asked again, oblivious to his demand.

Shinon leaned in and whispered into her ear where babies come from.

Mia looked at him offended, "You're not taking me seriously enough!" Then walked off, fake crying.

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FE Frog: It's short, but I'll update soon. I mean, seriously, there are, like, (51-5... 46!) 46 more ways to annoy our poor Shinon. Man... If he thinks this is annoying... I can't wait until 51! My fav is... 49 and 50... Those are hilarious...


	2. Another 5 ways

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FE Frog: Another chapter of pain and suffering, plus misery for Shinon, but for us... It's just another 5 ways to annoy him.

Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own Fire Emblem or 51 Ways to Annoy Murtagh

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6**. Whenever he's done saying something, you say, "Yeah, like we'll ever believe that!" very sarcastically.  
**

Shinon was showing his apprentice, Rolfanator (had to put that there), how to make a bow, "If you stroke it gently with the knife, you won't have to worry about digging in too deep." He told the young archer while demonstrating on his own work.

"Yeah, like we'll ever believe that!" Mia said out of nowhere.

Rolf tried to conceal his utter amazement (and amusement) of the swordsmaster's stupidity to actually aggravate the older Sniper.

Shinon snapped the was-going-to-be bow in half. She was _really_ getting on his nerves.

7. **Poke him at random moments, and don't give him a straight answer as to why you are doing it, either**.

Mia (sorry Shinon!) got bored. She had gone 2 days (!) without annoying the Sniper, and it was starting to catch up to her.

Shinon, on the other hand, was talking to Ike (even more !) when he felt someone jab him in the side. He excused himself for a moment.

"What do you want now, Mia?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" she replied stupidly.

"Why's you just poke me?"

"Did you know your hair is purple?" she said out of the blue.

"Uhh… I'll get back to you on that." As he was turning, she poked him again. He quickly spun around and asked her in a more hostile voice, "Why'd you just poke me?"

"There's a dragon behind you." She said. He turned around and frowned, while Mia laughed and poked him again.

"Stop poking me!"

"Your eyes are purple too."

8. **Laugh at any and all plans he comes up with**

Shinon was explaining to Soren an idea for the little strategist to use when there was a sudden burst of laughter. Shinon frowned and looked back to see the violet haired girl laughing so hard she was in tears. He shook his head and ignored her, he kept explaining to the little guy (had to put that also). Mia laughed harder and Soren just left. The plan didn't sound so interesting, anyway.

9**. Follow him around and tell people that he learned everything he knows from you.**

Mia was, (sadly) yet again, pretty bored. She thought up an idea and started following our unlucky sniper around camp.

He was talking to a bunch of random people who were telling him how good he was in battle.

Mia went up to one of the soldiers and told him, "I taught him everything he knows. I'm a good teacher, aren't I?" The soldier nodded and told the next soldier beside him.

The message went through the bunch like broken telephone when one of them asked the sniper who taught him.

"I taught myself." He answered plainly.

"This girl said…" before he could finish, Shinon was off, chasing a screaming Mia around the muddle of tents.

10**. Whenever anyone asks you about him say proudly, "We're all very proud of him- all of us in the insanity response unit, that is- we just got him potty trained, too!"  
**

"So… I heard that Shinon did the best in the battle yesterday." A random soldier told Mia. (Poor Shinon…)

"I know. We're all very proud of him- all of us in the insanity response unit, that is- we just got him potty trained too!"

"Mia…"

Mia's eyes widened right then, and in a few seconds, she was gone in a cloud of dust.

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FE Frog: Okay, I let you guys off the hook this time, but next time I ain't updating until you people review! There have been, like, 66 hits in one day, and only 3 of you reviewed! Take this as a warning... Anyway. I hope y'all liked it!


	3. From 11 to 15

FE Frog:Okey dokey! You guys deserve some more, so here it is!

I do not own Fire Emblem or the 51 ways to annoy Murtagh list that these come from.

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11. **Tell Ike that Shinon has a crush on him. Claim that there is hidden poetry in his room if he looks hard enough. Make sure Shinon hears these claims. His reaction to this news will certainly start quite a few new rumors.**

Mia walked up to her favourite commander, and just as Shinon was walking by too! "Hey, Ike! Did you know that Shinon has a crush on you? I saw some hidden love poems in his tent. Isn't he the romantic one?" she sighed, but her smile was wiped from her face when a certain sniper had a little fit.

"Crush? On Ike? Poetry? Mia! You little…" he stopped when people around him, including _his_ own boss, were snickering. The sniper just blushed and backed away into his tent.

12. **Burn his stock of bows and ask him to come roast marshmallows with you over the fire.**

Shinon was walking around the courtyard of the fort when he saw Mia lighting a fire… With his bows!

"Mia! What the hell do you think you're doing?" he screamed.

Mia smiled up at him and picked up a bag of round, white puffs, "Want to roast marshmallows with me?"

13.** Claim that he told you he didn't need them anymore and you used them for firewood. If he tries to kill you, think of something.**

After getting yelled at thoroughly by the sniper, Mia said through fake tears, "You told me you didn't need them. I thought they would make good firewood."

Being the uncompassionate soul that the freak is, Shinon yelled, "Mia! I never told you that! I swear I'm gonna kill…" he stopped. Then again, who wouldn't when there's a burning marshmallow that was recently on fire in your mouth. He almost cried then, but at least he got a marshmallow out of it.

14. **Point and laugh at him whenever he passes you.**

Shinon was just walking around when he heard laughter. It was 'It's' laughter. He turned and saw her pointing at him while laughing. Other people soon joined in and in time, the whole camp was laughing at him when he passed them by.

15. **Say bad things about him **_**before**_** he passes out of earshot.**

"Shinon reeks like dead fish in the summer." Mia whispered to the ever so hungry mage Ilyana.

"Are you that's him? I just had some fish…" She sighed.

"No, maybe it's a whale that attacked him." She giggled.

Shinon, being the unlucky person he was, heard all these comments, "MIA!"

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FE Frog: You've read it, so now you review it! No updates until I get at least 5 more reviews! On this chapter, not any chapter. I'll be waiting!


	4. 5 more

FE Frog: The first one isn't that funny... I'm doing 5 at a time, if that wasn't clear enough already... SO yeah...

Disclaimer: i do not own FE or 51 ways to annoy Murtagh... I wish I did...

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16. **Try to get him to start a conga line.**

Mia went up to Shinon with a couple people she knew.

"What is it now?" he groaned.

They all grabbed the waist of the person in front of them and started singing. Mia was in the front, but that changed when she grabbed on to Shinon.

"I hate you…" he sneered.

"I know." She smiled back.

17. **Clearly in view, smack yourself on the head with something hard, then throw it by Shinon and claim loudly that he has wounded you.**

Mia was bored. Then again she always is. She decided that she needed to do something fun. (Duh, duh, duh, duuuuuuh) She took one of Shinon's bows and hit herself on the head, then chucked it by Shinon.

"SHINON HIT ME WITH HIS BOW!!" she screamed.

"What? No I…"

"Shinon? Why would you do that?" Ike asked.

_I wish I did…_ He thought.

Shinon's salary was cut in half after that, and he was grumpy for the rest of the week (we all know why that is!).

18. **Kick him in the shins at random moments when he is not looking, and then run away.**

Shinon was talking to someone random (who knew he was so social?) when he felt a hard foot collide with his shin.

"OWWWW!" he yelled. When he spun around, he just saw a cloud of dust, and through it a certain violet haired girl running off laughing.

Our fav sniper was making a bow, when he, again, felt something hard collide with his shins.

As Mia was making her escape, he quickly grabbed her arm.

"Bad idea. I've got a nice sharp knife here!" for once he was actually happy.

The camp was quiet after hearing the extremely loud "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLP!"

Ulki went deaf after that.

19. **Tell Elincia that you heard him say that he expected her to be prettier when he found out she was a Princess.**

"I heard Shinon say that he expected you to be prettier when he found out you were Princess." Mia whispered to our Crimean to-be-queen.

"Oh did he know?" then she went looking for where she hid Amiti.

Mia smiled and walked off. _My work here is done._

20. **Wake him up early in the early hours of the morning with a bucket of water. Cold water.**

Mia snuck into Shinon's tent while he was sleeping with a bucket of ice cold water. It was very early in the morning, and since Mia was, well Mia, she woke up at dawn every day. She stood over his bed and whispered, "3…2…1!" She dumped the contents of the bucket over him.

The sniper jumped out of bed, dripping wet and shivering.

Mia shielded her eyes. It was **NOT** pretty.

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FE Frog: Hope you loved it. According to my reviews, you do! Don't forget to leave a message!


	5. 21 to 30

FE Frog: Chapter 5 is up! I took the request and put in 10 of the scenarios. Happy now Fire Emblem Mew Mew? Yeah... Some of the actual scenearios I didn't feel like writing, and if you look at the bottom A/N there will be a limited time offer! Yaaay!

I do not own Fire Emblem or 51 ways to annoy Murtagh which I took these from... I wish i did

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21**. Put his hand in warm water while he's sleeping.**

The title says all, and I don't feel like doing this one.

22. **Cut his hair while he's sleeping.**

Mia snuck into Shinon's tent late at night with a pair of scissors in hand. Normally, or at least last time, he slept without a ponytail, but this time he kept it up. Mia smiled, he was making it easier for her! She took the strand of hair and

Snip

It was off. She threw it to the floor and ran off.

23. **Take his stuff and hide it.**

"MIA! Where'd you put my stuff?"

Mia giggled, he had noticed his stuff gone, but obviously he hadn't looked in the mirror lately. She laughed even harder when he walked into her tent. He looked funny with almost no hair…

"Where'd you put my stuff?!" he demanded.

"Have you looked in the mirror lately?"

"You hid it."

"Take mine." She handed him a mirror and ran off in a cloud of dust.

"MMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAA!!"

24. **Go up to him and tell him you've done something to something in his room. See how long it takes him to work up the nerve to brush his teeth again (in fear you've dipped his toothbrush in the toilet )**

"Hey, Shinon!"

"Ugh…. What do you want now, Mia?" he groaned.

"I did something to something in your tent."

The next day.

"Ew…. When was the last time you brushed your teeth?!" Mia asked, plugging her nose.

"Yesterday. Before you told me you did something in my room."

25. **Walk up to him and say, "Man, it feels good to be a hamster?" and walk away with no explanation.**

Shinon was randomly working on a bow when Mia came up.

"Man, it feels good to be a hamster?" and she walked off, leaving Shinon staring after her.

"Okay then…"

26. **Laugh at him in general.**

I already did something like this….

27. **Dye his hair rainbow colors by any means possible. See if he screams.**

Shinon woke up (he finally found his stuff) and looked in the mirror. Lately Mia had been doing stuff to him in his sleep, so it was always good to be aware. His eyes widened in horror when he saw the pink, blue, purple, natural red, and… brown! In his hair.

Mia laughed when she heard a little girly scream from his tent.

28. **Make a comment about how he's putting on a little 'poundage' and see if he still continues to eat regularly.**

"Um… Shinon?"

"What?!"

"Have you noticed the… um… weight you've been putting on? How long has it been since you last worked out?"

"Yesterday! But…"

Dinner time.

"Shinon? Would you like some more?" Mist asked. They had been serving his favourite meal (even if Oscar prepared it a lot better than the little brat of a general's sister did).

"No thanks… I'm cutting back."

"Okay. If you say so…" this confused her. Normally he would have about 5 servings before saying he was full. No wonder Mia had said he was looking fat!

29. **Get him a puppy for Christmas. Claim that since he's always wanted one, you finally raised the bar, from a hamster to a dog.**

"What is this?" Shinon asked when Mia handed him his Christmas present. He opened it to find a little Chihuahua looking up at him with its big, bulgy eyes.

"What the hell…?"

"I thought, since you always wanted a pet, I'd give you a dog instead of a small hamster that you keep neglecting."

30. **Get him a Chihuahua as the aforementioned puppy. (An Irish Wolfhound would be a very, very stupid move at this point)**

Already explained this one.

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FE Frog: Okay! This is sort of a contest and takes place until the last chapter! The LAST chapter and the contest closes. When that chapter is up a choose my winner and create one more chapter.

Contest: Okay, each of you make your own way of annoying Shinon that needs two people. You also have to give me what exactly you want your name to be, if you're beorc/Laguz, and your class. I choose the best of the annoyingly awesome ways and put you and your character in. Luckily, this fic is rated T, so go wild! No major swearing, no innapprpriate stuff, and make it insamely funny! Have fun and good luck to all! Oh, I would suggest that you PM me so nobody seals your idea.

Review!


	6. More, more, more!

FE Grog: I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry for the past two weeks. I was at my cottage, with my grandma's super slow dial up and I was too busy to even write anything! I just made 5 tonight. Sorry for so few. My humor sort of washed away in the wind a bit... Yeah...

Oddly, this is so random, I think Shinon and Mia make a great pairing! They're so cute together! Why I chose Mia then? Exactly that reason! MAybe I'll make a sequel where... spoilers!

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31. **Spread outlandish rumors about him. (Ex: Yeah, I've heard he's even dated a queen. Or: I heard that to get out of prison once, the guards made him dress up as a girl and pout.)**

"Hey!" Mia called out to a passerby. Luckily for her, it was the general's chatty sister!

Mist turned to the source of the voice and smiled.

"You'll never guess what I heard!"

"What?"

"Yeah… I heard that once, to get out of prison, the guards made Shinon dress up like a girl and pout. Poor guy!" (If he's got you following him around, I'm sure he even thinks so, Mia…)

"Where'd you hear that?" Mist asked, shocked. She (and only her) hadn't heard about Mia's little… ventures.

"It's just something you hear floating around." Mia shrugged.

Shinon, on the other hand, was just taking a little stroll through the camp when he heard two soldiers snickering as he passed. The sniper quickly spun around to face them and sneered, "What are you two whelps snickering about?"

"Awww… Won't you pout for us, Princess?" one of them teased, causing the other to laugh harder.

Shinon's eyes narrowed, "MMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

32. **Show up in his room before he goes to bed with warm milk and a lullaby in mind to help him sleep.**

Shinon was pulling the covers up over his body when he heard the flap to his tent raise and a girl came in with a lantern and a mug.

"Good evening, good night. With roses adorned,  
With carnations covered, slip under the covers.  
Early tomorrow, if the Goddess wills, you will wake once again.  
Early tomorrow, if the Goddess wills, you will wake once again." She sang softly. Then sat in a chair beside his bed and handed him the mug.

Shinon stared at her in disbelief before saying slowly, "Get. Out. Of. My. Tent!"

Mia smiled warmly and put the mug on a table beside him and continued, "Good evening, good night. By angels watched,  
Who show you in your dream the Christ-child's tree.  
Sleep now peacefully and sweetly, look into dream's paradise.  
Sleep now peacefully and sweetly, look into dream's paradise."

Shinon just moaned and brought the blanket up over his head.

33. **Mimic him in an especially childish way whenever he speaks.**

"Mia! Leave me alone!" the sniper snapped when he realized 'It' was following him.

"Mia!" she said in a babyish voice, "Leave me alone!"

Shinon just grunted and went off.

"Shinon…" Gatrie pointed behind his friend.

"I know Gatrie." He said through clenched teeth.

"I know Gatrie!" Mia repeated, facial features and all.

The knight laughed, but was silent when the sniper stormed off. The cheery little girl followed him. (Surprise, surprise!)

34. **Ask him why he uses puny little bows instead of swords. If he ignores you, continue to ask him why he isn't as cool or good looking as Ike.**

"Hey Shinon?" our little friend whined.

"Mia…" he groaned, "What have I ever done to you?"

Mia, totally oblivious, as always, to Shinon's complaint, (too many commas!) asked, "Why do you use those weak little twigs instead of a nice sword?"

Shinon sighed and ignored her.

"Why aren't you as cool or good looking as Ike?" she prodded.

Shinon shook his head and left her alone, only to be followed.

Late in the evening.

"Why aren't you as…"

"Leave me alone!" he yelled, "I don't care how good-looking you think Ike is! I'm nothing like him! I hate the whelp!"

Mia looked up at him, her eyes big and innocent.

"Don't give me that look…"

Her lip started to waver and her eyes became watery. "Shinon yelled at me!" she wailed.

Shinon just slammed his back to a tree and slid down, "Why me?"

35. **See how many rounds of '100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall' he can take before he swears and aims his bow at you.**

"One hundred bottles of beer on the wall, one hundred bottled of beer! You take one down, pass it around, ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall!". Mia sang.

"Do you mind?" Shinon asked annoyed.

"Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, one hundred bottled of beer! You take one down, pass it around, ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall!" she continued to sing.

Shinon sighed and continued his book. (I wonder what it's about. Hmmm…)

5 minutes later.

"Forty-nine bottles of beer on the wall, forty-nine bottles of beer! You take one down, pass it around, forty-eight bottles of beer on the wall!" she sang.

"SHUT UP!" Shinon screamed, "I swear, on more round of that and I'll shot you like I would a duck!"

36. **Claim #35 (above) was you testing his mental endurance. Claim he failed spectacularly.**

"Aww…" Mia sighed, "I was only testing your mental endurance!"

"Since when did you start doing that… Don't answer that."

"You failed spectacularly!" she yelled gleefully.

"Great!" he said sarcastically. This was coming to be a regular thing…. "And since when could you use big words like that?"

Mia just smiled.

"Okay…."

(That was so not funny… I can't believe myself anymore!)

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FE Frog: Don't forget! Only so much time before the contest closes! So far I have my fav, but will anyone top it? We'll see! I'll try to update soon!


	7. Revamped! And loaded Okay, weird much!

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FE Frog: It's about time I update! Some of these I left alone, some I rewrote... Actually, I don't think i _rewrote_ anything! Oh, well. I did rewrite some from they're originals... the ones I felt like rewritng. So some of them are somewhat funny. I'm so happy I finally got this up! And you people better come up with some random things! I will pick the funniest, in my opinion, or have a vote of somesort...

Enjoy! And i don't own anything.

**I Disclaimed it already a million times!**

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37. **Whenever you discuss Shinon's strange behavior around you with others, always refer to him as 'she'.**

Sorry, I just really don't feel like writing this. Can't think of anything good.

38. **Replace all his clothes with dresses (or any other clothes that are obviously intended for a woman). Admittedly, some of the fun is sapped out of the joke because he can always get new clothes, but it will still be entertaining to watch him try to explain his predicament to the tailor.**

Mia heard laughing outside her tent. She peaked through one of the flaps to see Shinon walking through camp, sporting a nice frilly, pink dress. He didn't seem so happy about his little predicament.

Mia quietly followed him as he reached the tailor's tent.

There was a burst of laughter from inside, followed by, "May I help you… Miss?"

"I… I…" the words didn't seem to flow as well as he thought.

Mia just pranced right in, looking as though she had no idea about the poor sniper's attire. She stopped in her tracks and started laughing.

"Mia…"

39. **Replace all his weapons with hand made replicas you made with construction paper and glue, maybe even with tape (to give it a shinier look!).**

"Rolf! Mist!" Mia called out. The two younger members ran into her tent like puppies. Mia smiled sweetly, "Today's arts and crafts project is…"

Shinon was going to get his bows for the upcoming battle. The weapons seemed a little… shiny? He picked one up to find it almost the same weight as a feather. Paper… Glue… and… was it tape?

"Mist and Rolf did it!" Mia blurted as he aimed his bow at her, "I swear!" Well, at least there was _some_ truth behind it…

40. **Scream the name "FRODO!" at him and then look disappointed when he doesn't react. When he asks what a 'Frodo' is, refuse to tell him because he didn't recognize his 'Sam'.**

"FRODO!"

Mia frowned when all he did was turn and give her a strange look.

"What in the goddess' name is a 'Frodo'?" he asked.

The Swordsmaster perked back up, "Can't tell ya! You didn't know what a 'Sam' was."

41. **Tell him, " " and see how he reacts to this little bit of randomness. (Sorry, didn't want to give away the random statement)**

"The cat crows at dawn and the horse screams at noon." Mia said before walking off again.

Shinon just watched her leave, a bewildered look in his eyes as she left.

42. **After you've finished telling him something, you must add (no matter what!) 'But it's just a rumor.' (Ex: Ike told me to tell you that you guys are leaving tomorrow, but it's just a rumor.)**

"Hey Shinon?"

"What now, Mia?" he asked, obviously annoyed by her constant company.

"Ike told me to tell you that we're leaving tomorrow," she said, "but it's just a rumor."

Shinon missed out on the march the next day, and never was late again…

43. **Tell him you're leaving to see if he cries out of sheer joy.**

"Shinon…" Mia sobbed, "I'm leaving…"

Even if he had never cried before, he did now.

"You don't have to be sad about it!"

"I'm not."

44. **See if he attempts to be polite about you saying you're leaving (#43-above) and tries to say something like too bad, or, I'll miss you, or, you simply must write, or, Send me a postcard!**

"Aww… Ain't that to bad." Shinon sighed in a sarcastic voice, "Make sure to write! How I'd loooove to know you're still alive and well."

Okay… Shinon just isn't polite, so I tried. BYE! Oh… Wait! There's more!  
\/

45. **Offer him gum from one of those trick packs (you know, the ones that shock you or snap your fingers with a mini mousetrap).**

"Hey!"

Shinon moaned when he recognized that voice… okay, shrill.

"I brought you something!" she screamed in his face. Shinon winced at the volume of her voice.

"What now… Mia." He groaned.

"Here!" she stuck out her arm, revealing a small packet that said 'Juicy Fruit' on it.

"What the hell is _that_?" he asked, examining the strange thing.

"Gum. Take one!" she pushed her arm closer to him, urging him to take one.

Shinon looked up at her giddy face. A little _too_ giddy. "No thanks." He said, shaking his head.

"I insist!" Wow, that smile was starting to scare him. Like more than Aimee and Ike, and nobody thought that was possible… What if they randomly hook up once upon a time? I swear! Anyone steal that idea from and… I put a copyright on it!

Aimee and Ike Copyright FE Frog 2008, but the characters don't belong to her.

Back to the thingy. Still haven't figured out what exactly it is…

He shrugged and took one.

Rolf looked up from his soup when he heard that not-so-familiar scream.

"Was that… Shinon?"

**In Betweener. Yes, you heard me right. Now I'm doing stuff that aren't even on the list! These ideas are totally original! Not the characters though… Saddly. I wish! If I did own it, ike would have never left Tellius, Shinon and Mia would have married in the end, even if they had no support at all! Bastian would die a horrible death. Geoffrey would… Have kids with a cow! Seriously… A milk giving cow, beef cows, whatever you want to call them. Murtagh would come out of the book and marry me… Oh, wait… Murtagh isn't even in FE… Wow… ANYWAY! I'm rambling, so on with the show-er-story! Thingy… Is this even a story? More of a how to do whatever thingy…**

Mia snuck into his tent… Again. But wait! This time… she was carrying a really random box that was covered by a cloth! Oh my! And I'm pigging out on these little German candies! Anyone heard of Riesen? They are soooooo good… Anything German is good though!

"No! Go away mommy!"

Mia stopped her tiptoeing for a moment to register what exactly was going on. Shinon was… being weird…

Cockadoodledoo! Went the rooster. Shinon just screamed something… I'm not fully sure what… And ignored the little mangy hair… feather ball! He tossed to the side a bit, nudging against something soft… and fury… This can't be good. Mia? What have you done this time!?

"There you are Teddy!" he moaned. (Okay, seriously, this guy's gotta get a life!) Suddenly… Here's where the good part comes! S-U-D-D-E-N-L-Y…

Random ABBA song starts playing… I got an Idea for the THEME SONG! YEEEEES! Finally!

The air reeked of…

Mamma Mia! Why did you do it? Now he has to go bathe in tomato juice… Eww… Imagine what kind of lima beans would be floating around? AAAA!

Shinon's eyes burst open, tears welled in his eyes as the rancid smel got to them.

"MMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

Guess he noticed the skunk…

46. **Play knock and run at his bedroom door. When he inevitably refuses to answer, open the door, step in and holler "Lucy! I'm hooomme!"**

Shinon was silently reading. He yawned and read again. It took about a minute for him to register about… 3 pages. Crap! This guy is fast! I wish I read like that, instead it take me about a minute and a half to read a page from Paolini. Then again, have you seen those pages?!

Mia knocked on the door.

Shinon looked up lazily. He had been up really late in a vat of tomato juice. Now his skin was tinged slightly red… or maybe he was just really angry? He looked back down at the book, ignoring the rapping.

Mia knocked harder.

Shinon looked up again, this time a little more annoyed, but ignored it again… That was until…

"LUCY! I'm HOOOOOOOME!"

47._**A/N Yaaaay! My fav! The next one is funny too… **_**Scream "You dropped your pocket!" whenever he's fighting on the practice courts.**

Mia was merrily skipping around camp. Okay people… I swear! You have to hide the SUGAR! Her skipping ceased when she heard a loud shout from the fenced off practice courts.

"Ha! Never thought I'd get such a good hit on you, Shinon!" by the boldness, loudness and… whatever else! Mia could tell it was Gatrie.

She peeked around the one opening there was in the fence to see Shinon, pulling back on the bowstring, Gatrie charging at him. Wow… Gatrie really was stupid. No one goes near the great and accurate sniper! Unless, of course, you have nice purple hair, freakishly large green eyes, and are always hyper. F.Y.I. for you people too stupid top figure it out…

Murtagh: Mia!

Ding, ding, ding!

**Sorry people… I just love Murtagh… Don't ask why.**

Mia laughed mischievously. Obviously… She had an idea on how to make the ol'sniper's life worse.

Shinnon let the string loose. He quickly turned, knocking the arrow a little off, and missing Gatrie completely. All because of…

"You dropped your pocket!"

**Yes, it's time for another… In betweener! This one takes place in the Tower of Guidance…**

Mia secretly followed the sniper… Although he knew about it. There were like 17 people, kinda hard not to notice!

Shinon felt a little uneasy, the paths were too narrow, and below was… That's just it, nobody knows.

"Shinon?"

The red-head jumped, his foot slipped and down he went… Ike caught him.

"Sorry… Didn't mean to scare you." Ike said, hulling the sniper up from oblivion.

"Get your hands off of me!" he snapped at the Vanguard, slapping his hand away from his arm.

"SHINON!"

This time the sniper leaped off the edge. Mia scared him… Really scared him… And what's worse, this time a laguz had to catch him!

48. **(In relation to #47) give him your best, plastic-fake, commercial, poster-boy smile and say "Great job you did on the practice courts today, even though you got hit on the head twice. Oh, by the way, you dropped your pocket."**

Shinon woke, his head pounding from whatever had happened. He felt to bumps. _Stupid Gatrie…_

"You're awake!"

The sniper suddenly felt his headache get worse… a lot worse.

Mia leaned over him, a strange, almost fake (well duh! It was fake!) smile painted onto her face.

"What do you want…"

"Good job on the practice courts today, even if you got hit in the head twice." So that's what happened. "Oh, by the way…" Mia stopped, "YOU DROPPED YOUR POCKETS!"

49. Part 1 **Make up his own theme song and sing it whenever he enters the room, or triumphs, or walks, or eats, or something, anything at all?**

_**A/N This was seriously hard. This was supposed to be #45, but I couldn't think, so I attempted it. If you're wondering how the melody goes, look up **_/watch?vcqksjgMg5GE&featurerelated_**. That's the song I used… Not very creative, am I? I only changed a few things, but it's mainly supposed to make 'Shinny' uncomfortable. The song is, in the movie, supposed to describe Sophie's mother's dot, dot, dot… Ha! I guess some of the lyrics, this is where the rating comes in. Who knew Mia could be so… Linguistic.**_

"Shinny, Shinny, how you thrill me, ah-hah, Shinny, Shinny

Shinny, Shinny, nearly kill me, ah-hah, Shinny, Shinny!

I wanted know some more

And found out that you're a whore!" Mia sang as Shinon entered the mess hall/whatever you call it tent.

Shinon's face turned red. of course he was angry, but those lyrics! She could have changed them…

Everyone turned to the entrance, but the sniper was already gone, his face blending in perfectly with his crimson hair.

Mia rolled her eyes and stalked out of the tent, speeding to a run when she hit the outside air.

49. Part 2** Make up his own theme song and sing it whenever he enters the room, or triumphs, or walks, or eats, or something, anything at all?**

Alright, so Mia was asked by Shinon to change the lyrics… She changed them, slightly. Okay, I just used another verse!

"Shinny, Shinny, touch me, baby, ah-hah, Shinny, Shinny  
Shinny, Shinny, hold me, baby, ah-hah, Shinny, Shinny  
You look like a movie star  
But I know just who you are  
And, honey, to say the least, you're a dog-gone beast!"

Shinon moaned inwardly… At least he wasn't a whore anymore.

_**A/N I just found it ironic that it rhymed perfectly with more! It's kinda funny… And I felt really bad for Shinon there, even if he doesn't exist. I wish he did, then I could torment him! Mwahahahahahahahahaha!**_

50! _**Okay, guys! This mean that you people need to send your stuff in now! The next chappie will come in a minimum of 2 days, or less, but don't expect it that soon!**_ **(In relation to #49) When he threatens to cut out your tongue if you continue to sing his theme song, smile say, "Oh all right," and begin to hum it.**

"Shinny, Shinny, touch me, baby, ah-hah, Shinny, Shinny  
Shinny, Shinny, hold me, baby, ah-hah, Shinny, Shinny  
You look like a movie star  
But I know just who you are  
And, honey, to say the least, you're a dog-gone beast!"

Shinon fumed as he heard the verse again. Over the past… 2 weeks! Poor Shinon… He had not been as embarrassed by the song, more annoyed than anything, which was the point.

"Shinny, Shinny, touch me, baby, ah-hah, Shinny, Shinny  
Shinny, Shinny, hold me, baby, ah-hah, Shinny, Shinny  
You look like a movie star…"

"Shut Up! I hear those lyrics one more time and I swear I will cut your tongue right from your mouth!" he smiled inwardly, keeping the frown on the outside. It felt good to yell at her, and threatening her only made it feel better.

Mia smiled… "Okay!"

Shinon groaned when he heard the lyric-less song being sung behind him.

* * *

FE Frog: I was hyper. So I put my hyperness to good use, and although there are many unimportant random things in there... Well that's due to my hyperness! I'm ven typing faster than usual, cause i'm still hyper! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Like it? Think it's the awesomest thing around? Hate it? Want to puke all over it? REVIEW! The button's there for a reason, and no more flames alowed! I didn't get any before soooooo... YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY


	8. Contest! You know about it

This is just random, but I need your contest things! Please and thank you. Need rules? Check out chapter… I don't know! Don't sit on your lazy ass and find it! Okay, so now that I've said that! Get your eggs crackin' and find your idea in the yolk! Wow... Never thought I'd be sooooo random... Actually...

Some random person: Shut up!


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